I like the way you are trying to tell political stories in a metaphorical way but get this. the world needs rules. At first your story is focused on more technological and political scenario but then you add magic into this and it contradicts with the message that you want to convey. Like, why would the need of technological advancement be so prominent for the game if magic is something the audience should explore. “MAGIC CAN DO EVERYTHING!” Technology is rigid. We should explore more on the rigidness. “That’s just my opinion, you could try more to clear this ambiguity”.
But hey, Good job you wrote 10 pages or so, its a “START”. And if you have some visual concepts for maps, I can help you elaborate it more(I love maps). Elaborate it more visually, I know its in your head but everybody needs to see it first so it can be developed. Everything else seems fine, but we need to consolidate the world first! Have a “Good Day”!