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Eph Termulo
Engineer | Researcher | Educator 馃審馃捇 馃摎
聽路聽Bulacan,聽Philippines
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how鈥檚 the story of the game? 馃槃

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Piyush Arora
Magic does exists :D
聽路聽Bengaluru,聽India
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Eph Termulo
Engineer | Researcher | Educator 馃審馃捇 馃摎
聽路聽Bulacan,聽Philippines
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Ill read it 馃槂

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Barsat Karki
聽路聽Kathmandu,聽Nepal
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I like the way you are trying to tell political stories in a metaphorical way but get this. the world needs rules. At first your story is focused on more technological and political scenario but then you add magic into this and it contradicts with the message that you want to convey. Like, why would the need of technological advancement be so prominent for the game if magic is something the audience should explore. 鈥淢AGIC CAN DO EVERYTHING!鈥 Technology is rigid. We should explore more on the rigidness. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 just my opinion, you could try more to clear this ambiguity鈥.

But hey, Good job you wrote 10 pages or so, its a 鈥淪TART鈥. And if you have some visual concepts for maps, I can help you elaborate it more(I love maps). Elaborate it more visually, I know its in your head but everybody needs to see it first so it can be developed. Everything else seems fine, but we need to consolidate the world first! Have a 鈥淕ood Day鈥!

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Arti Loftus
Creative minded IT person
聽路聽London,聽United Kingdom
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I think Barsat has point there with the story, magic and tech do kind of contradict each other

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